Remembered tidbits

Yesterday I was heavily reamed by PG. During the immediate aftermath, I was unable to write up my adventures like I normally do, so details were missed in yesterday's post. I keep remembering extra bits about our encounter, so I'm putting them here for your edification. Apparently her asshole is brown. (Mine is pink.) He…

Dude, where’s my thong?

Well, 2023 is going out with a bang, y'all! In the last three or so weeks, PG has been checking in with me regularly. There were one or two times he said he'd visit, but then something came up with work. I think you all know his typical excuse for not showing. Today he actually…

Judged.

Well, you guys, PG visited today!! I was not sure that it would happen, but this time, I was nearly the stumbling block. Two of my clients are quite busy right now, but I managed to keep things under control - and PG cooperated with an early morning trip to see me, thanks to a…

Here’s jizz in ya eye!

OMG!!! THE OLD PG IS BACK!!!!! Yeet!! Remember last time he was here? There was kissing and "I love you" and shit? Well, it's gone!!! PG circa 2016 is back - with a vengeance. Okay, let's start at the beginning. Oh, but first? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRL **M** FROM LUNCH CLUB!! THIS ONE'S FOR…

Oy. I don’t even know anymore…

Greetings, friends of sluts! Today our old pal PG paid me a visit. Let's chat, shall we? I was in Boston last week for work, so OF COURSE PG was sniffing around just before I flew out of town. I swear that he knows when I won't be available. Recall from my last post that…

Cuntpocalypse now

You. All. Well, then. It finally happened. After 23 months (TWENTY-THREE MONTHS, I SAID) of PG promising to visit and then NOT visiting rather ad nauseam, HE FUCKING SHOWED UP TODAY. No, I am not kidding. Last week, he asked how far I am from a particular town (which he's done over and over again…

She’s got something in her throat!

Yes, I certainly did! And let me tell you...it was a long time coming, too! (For those who don't know what the title is referring to, just go to the Google or have a peek at the image below. Maybe that will jolt your memory.) The last time I saw PG was in October of…

I got my ass ate.

Or at least that is what one of my gays (KC from Malaysia) would say. Oh, I miss the days of KC calling me late at night: "OMG! I GOT MY ASS ATE, HONEEEYYYY!!!!" Hilarious. Ass. It's what's for breakfast - at least that is true for PG on this fine July day. Yesterday, PG…

Witch I Love Your…?

This one's for you, Buffy. I think you probably figured that out from the title of this post. Also, pre-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my old friend. Yes, you are - and will always be - 7 months older than me. Did your gifts arrive yet?!?! Next year we'll do our Vegas thing for your birthday - assuming…

Wait, wut?

After PG's visit last week, I sent him a text to say, in essence, thanks for the romp and you were excellent. He did not reply. Gah! I am supposed to be in Las Vegas right now, but that trip was canceled with all the 'rona madness. In protest, I am still taking my vacation…

Who are you?

Another delivery of masks, gloves, and hella good hand sanitizer (with witch hazel and honey) arrived today, courtesy of PG. He also took time to explain to me how the recipients of these goodies should use them. He was most concerned about my niece, who is working at one of those visiting angels gigs while…

Peen in the time of…coronavirus?

HAPPY SPRING!! Let's take a little break today from all of the coronavirus insanity, shall we? Sit down. Chill out. Grab a libation or one of your quarantine snacks and relax with my little blog. Many of you are probably locked in with your families and I know you need a break. (I'm looking at…

A misunderstanding

Like, hi. Yesterday PG texted to ask if I would be around today. I told him I have some urgent meetings and whatnot, but I'd be free for an hour at 1:00, right before a meeting with my boss. Since I'd be on the phone all morning, there'd be no time for slutting up, but…

Afternoon delight

You might recall last week's unexpected textual interaction with PG and his alleged promise that he'd come see me today (at 10:15 am, specifically). I sent a text asking if today was still on. He said he didn't know because "Traffic is fucked today". Ah, great...at least this is a new excuse, right? (What I…

Fast ‘n’ furious

Yes, yes, it certainly the fuck was. Gather 'round, y'all. For tonight was a fast and furious fuckfest with PG - and GOD DAMN did I need it. I have been antsy since the engagement of PG...figuring that she has moved in and maybe I'd not see him for a long time. At the urging…

Minty fresh!

Okay, so I am a drama queen and I might have overreacted when I wrote that I thought that I'd not see PG for quite a long time. Trying to predict his next move is impossible and I can't do it any more. If he wants to see me, I'll leave it to him to…

The end…?

Well, yeah. I hope that I am wrong, but I guess we'll have to wait and see, eh. (Hi, CP!!!) After not hearing from PG in a hot minute, this morning when I was trying to herd cats in a work meeting, he texted me a "Yo". I was so involved with work that I…

Addendum to ‘A whore-easter’

Sorry, y'all. In my haste to write my latest blog update (click here to see it), I omitted some details. Forgive me. I'm still running on no sleep and slightly losing my mind. PG ripped my bodystocking up my back with his hands when I first presented my ass to him. *Note to self: order…

A whore-easter

You get it, right? Like a Nor'easter?? Don't you people watch The Weather Channel? Here on the east coast of the US, we have suffered four of those bastard storms in the course of three weeks. Hi. It's SPRING now, you fucking cunt, Mother Nature! Knock it the fuck off and go fuck yourself. What…

Stuffed: A tale of 3 dildos

I have been in mourning for my cat Mimi for the last few weeks. We won't go into it, but it has not been a pleasant two weeks for the Honeytoes household. If you add to that the frustration of not getting laid in a hot minute AND not seeing PG since January 2nd (god…

“Comfortably numb” addendum

There were a few things that I neglected to include in the last post about my birthday #fuckery with Man Bun. There was pussy slapping. #hurtme After the arm massage, MB massaged my scalp. #bliss #fingersofjoy We fell asleep briefly after the massage and **sigh** he snores. Perhaps this is his only flaw. He left…

Whore-y New Year!

Happy fucking New Year 2018, bitches. I am not a New Year's Resolutions kind of a gal, but perhaps I'll look into acquiring more peen this year. Big peen, obvi. At the top of that big peen list is PG, but as you know, he's hot and heavy with his girl and once they start…

My first PG bruise

This is just a teeny update to let you know that my encounter on Monday night resulted in my first PG bruise! I am beyond pleased and I am pretty sure he'll be amused when I tell him. As I was working out this morning, I mentioned to my trainer that my left shoulder blade…

Daddy’s little cumdumpster

Ah. Where shall I begin? Okay, the beginning...that makes sense. In my previous post, PG unexpectedly offered me his cock after I sent him a somewhat amusing photo set including a lit birthday candle in my twat. (It was his birthday, after all!) Of course, he asked me over on a Monday night. This particular…

A candle in the wind…er…pussy??

Let it be known that PG is the King of all the Cunt Teases. #cunttease His birthday was last week and I sent him a birthday text. <nudes sent> My #holes and I attended meetings all day. (I work from home.) It was unpleasant, but it is how I earn money for my cats, shiny…

Pre-Vegas fuckery with PG

An apology is in order. I lied to my biggest cheerleader and totes bestie. In truth, she is also PG's biggest cheerleader. CP, I told you I didn't hear from PG after I texted him on Sunday. Mostly I told you this because of his track record of saying we're going to get together and…

I’m not me when I’m horngry.

Horngry? Ya. Horny + hungry (for peen) = a very out-of-sorts Honeytoes (Of course, "out-of-sorts" = bitch on wheels.) Thanks, CP, for finding the graphic whilst my holes were getting pounded...I just zhuzhed it up a bit. After getting back from my business trip and having had a very bizarre set of texts the day…

ERMAHGERD

I said... Y'all, I don't really know how it happened - or why. PG texted me on Monday afternoon (yesterday) to say that he might be able to see me this week. I was beyond pleased. #obvi Then he said which day would work for him: Thursday. Curses!!! Your girl Honeytoes is going out of…

Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)

First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane…

Flashback: 20-Apr-2017 – Tossed salad for two

It pains your slut Honeytoes that yet another Flashback is being posted here. Trust me: I'd rather have a new slutty adventure for y'all, but I'm in a dry spell. My two favorite cocks are practically impossible to obtain...One has a gf and a crazy work schedule and the other is on the other side…

Flashback: 16-Mar-2017 – There’s my slut!

I saw PG tonight. I sent him an ass pic midway through the day, but didn’t hear back from him. He always responds to dirty pics from me. I figured he was busy working and around 3:00, I began my partial prep for tonight. I didn’t put on my makeup or put my hair into…

Goin’ ho-in’!

That's right, kids! Honeytoes went a ho-in' tonight - September 11th. It was rather unexpected and I find that the best sex is the unexpected kind. I haven't had sex since Man Bun on August 25th. Ugh. I swear that I have no idea how I lasted without sex for 7 years before meeting PG,…

Flashback: 23-May-2017 – Love and other bruises

Yes, the title is a reference to Air Supply. Shut up. My Plane Guy was in rare form tonight. Rare. And yes, I said MY Plane Guy. He asked me to show up looking like a total whore, per usual. I obliged by wearing glitter on my eyelids (because a ho loves glitter more than…