I have been in mourning for my cat Mimi for the last few weeks. We won't go into it, but it has not been a pleasant two weeks for the Honeytoes household. If you add to that the frustration of not getting laid in a hot minute AND not seeing PG since January 2nd (god… Continue reading Stuffed: A tale of 3 dildos
I'd fuck me so hard. I'm not even putting in a link. If you don't know me well enough to know what that is all about, then how are we even friends? I matched with a guy on Tinder recently. We'll call him Jame (as in Jame Gumb - LEARN ME.). We matched right before… Continue reading I’d fuck me.
Like, hi. Indulge me with a few notes here. I am absolutely exhausted. On Saturday night I went to a comedy show and I did not get home and into bed until about 1:30 am on Sunday the 28th. I woke up for my flight on Sunday the 28th at 4:30 am. Three hours of… Continue reading Comfortably numb
Happy fucking New Year 2018, bitches. I am not a New Year's Resolutions kind of a gal, but perhaps I'll look into acquiring more peen this year. Big peen, obvi. At the top of that big peen list is PG, but as you know, he's hot and heavy with his girl and once they start… Continue reading Whore-y New Year!
Ah. Where shall I begin? Okay, the beginning...that makes sense. In my previous post, PG unexpectedly offered me his cock after I sent him a somewhat amusing photo set including a lit birthday candle in my twat. (It was his birthday, after all!) Of course, he asked me over on a Monday night. This particular… Continue reading Daddy’s little cumdumpster
I don't really know how to start this post, so why not use a line from Monty Python's The Holy Grail? There's never a bad time for a Monty Python quote. In fairness, though, I think the oral sex came before the spanking this evening. I am beyond exhausted right now, having been awake for… Continue reading And after the spanking, the oral sex
An apology is in order. I lied to my biggest cheerleader and totes bestie. In truth, she is also PG's biggest cheerleader. CP, I told you I didn't hear from PG after I texted him on Sunday. Mostly I told you this because of his track record of saying we're going to get together and… Continue reading Pre-Vegas fuckery with PG
Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in 'Murica and your favorite slut was proper stuffed. (That's how they say it, innit, Nicola? Pissflaps forever!!! Miss you!! Quality.) Oh, how very cliché I am. Yes, I am thankful for peen...only the good peen, though, duh. You know that I search far and wide to find only the best… Continue reading There’s been an incident.
Horngry? Ya. Horny + hungry (for peen) = a very out-of-sorts Honeytoes (Of course, "out-of-sorts" = bitch on wheels.) Thanks, CP, for finding the graphic whilst my holes were getting pounded...I just zhuzhed it up a bit. After getting back from my business trip and having had a very bizarre set of texts the day… Continue reading I’m not me when I’m horngry.
First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane… Continue reading Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)
It pains your slut Honeytoes that yet another Flashback is being posted here. Trust me: I'd rather have a new slutty adventure for y'all, but I'm in a dry spell. My two favorite cocks are practically impossible to obtain...One has a gf and a crazy work schedule and the other is on the other side… Continue reading Flashback: 20-Apr-2017 – Tossed salad for two
This post covers the 3 days that Master stayed with me in my home. What does this mean to you, my dear readers? It means that my thoughts are garbled (along with my pink bits) and that I might forget some details. Give a slut a break, okay? I've been used hard for 3 days...thank… Continue reading FulFILLed slut
That's right, kids! Honeytoes went a ho-in' tonight - September 11th. It was rather unexpected and I find that the best sex is the unexpected kind. I haven't had sex since Man Bun on August 25th. Ugh. I swear that I have no idea how I lasted without sex for 7 years before meeting PG,… Continue reading Goin’ ho-in’!
Ahhhhh, Man Bun. How do I fuck thee? Let me count the ways... As expected, my hair did not cooperate today and my shoes hurt, but in order not to disappoint my readers, your #slut Honeytoes persevered and went through with her date. You're welcome. #toughslut Man Bun showed up one minute late, but as… Continue reading Good vibes – The return of Man Bun
After the putative January 2017 ghosting episode with PG, I had a big, fat sad. I swore off men and sex forever and ever...and then...? I got a bee in my bonnet and decided that the last guy I fucked would NOT be the nasty Boston guy. Oh, hell, naw!!! I would get a man… Continue reading Flashback: 11 & 12-Feb-2017 – Getting Giggy with it
Come on, y’all. I’m joking. I was not being held captive, as one of my friends joked in her slightly panicked texts to me. Sheesh. I was not joking about the "face down, ass up" bit, though. I started this post on my flight home (the LAS-ORD leg) and I am happy to report that… Continue reading Captivity: Day 2 – Face down, ass up
Right. Today is Saturday. I'm still in Vegas with Master and I'm not dead yet, nor have I been made into a skin suit for my tormentor. First let me tell you about my Uber ride to his house yesterday. I never shared an Uber ride before, so I thought since I am already living… Continue reading Knife to meet you…
Yes, this is another oldie previously posted on the other site. Since I haven't see PG in a hot minute (Booooo! You whore!), this is all I have to work with, y'all. Jesus, I need some #peen. Oh, wait...I'll be getting that this weekend...Here's the old post from my 22Jan17 visit - the last one… Continue reading Flashback: 22-Jan-2017 – In your colander?!
Yes, the title is a reference to Air Supply. Shut up. My Plane Guy was in rare form tonight. Rare. And yes, I said MY Plane Guy. He asked me to show up looking like a total whore, per usual. I obliged by wearing glitter on my eyelids (because a ho loves glitter more than… Continue reading Flashback: 23-May-2017 – Love and other bruises
I believe that I mentioned that this blog would be a combination of my current sexual hijinks and some older stories. (For those of you here from FT, you will see the posts that were on my closed thread, but without asterisks.) Since I can't be sure when my next sexual liaison will be (dammit… Continue reading Flashback: 1-Jun-2017 – #buttstuffthursday
I'm pretty sure that this post will make many (all?) of you uncomfortable and that you might never talk to me or read my blog ever again. If so, that's a shame, but I'm already over it. If not, then let me know...we should totes hang out in real life!! You must be as sick… Continue reading I need you.
While sitting at the pool on a fine July 4th morning in the shade of my cabana (and basking in the day-after-you-got-fucked glow), I remembered that Man Bun told me the previous night that he'd be available again if I was interested. Dare I have him again two nights in a row? Yes, I dared.… Continue reading All the better to bite you with, my dear
Princess Diana was the people's princess. I am the people's slut. I write about my adventures for you, the people, in the hope that you will be amused. I hope you find my writing at least moderately enjoyable. Even if you don't enjoy it, I don't care. I'll continue writing even if the only one… Continue reading #thepeoplesslut
Yes, that's why my brain is like: complete gibberish up in here, up in here. I'm in a post-coital haze. What do I look like right now? Well, the lower half of my makeup is now on Plane Guy's ass and my hair appears to be the home of a family of rats. I wonder… Continue reading Fkafmivorjffaevmvariargrui. Fo’ reals.