A whore-easter

You get it, right? Like a Nor'easter?? Don't you people watch The Weather Channel? Here on the east coast of the US, we have suffered four of those bastard storms in the course of three weeks. Hi. It's SPRING now, you fucking cunt, Mother Nature! Knock it the fuck off and go fuck yourself. What… Continue reading A whore-easter

Stuffed: A tale of 3 dildos

I have been in mourning for my cat Mimi for the last few weeks. We won't go into it, but it has not been a pleasant two weeks for the Honeytoes household. If you add to that the frustration of not getting laid in a hot minute AND not seeing PG since January 2nd (god… Continue reading Stuffed: A tale of 3 dildos

Comfortably numb

Like, hi. Indulge me with a few notes here. I am absolutely exhausted. On Saturday night I went to a comedy show and I did not get home and into bed until about 1:30 am on Sunday the 28th. I woke up for my flight on Sunday the 28th at 4:30 am. Three hours of… Continue reading Comfortably numb

Whore-y New Year!

Happy fucking New Year 2018, bitches. I am not a New Year's Resolutions kind of a gal, but perhaps I'll look into acquiring more peen this year. Big peen, obvi. At the top of that big peen list is PG, but as you know, he's hot and heavy with his girl and once they start… Continue reading Whore-y New Year!

Daddy’s little cumdumpster

Ah. Where shall I begin? Okay, the beginning...that makes sense. In my previous post, PG unexpectedly offered me his cock after I sent him a somewhat amusing photo set including a lit birthday candle in my twat. (It was his birthday, after all!) Of course, he asked me over on a Monday night. This particular… Continue reading Daddy’s little cumdumpster

And after the spanking, the oral sex

I don't really know how to start this post, so why not use a line from Monty Python's The Holy Grail? There's never a bad time for a Monty Python quote. In fairness, though, I think the oral sex came before the spanking this evening. I am beyond exhausted right now, having been awake for… Continue reading And after the spanking, the oral sex

Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)

First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane… Continue reading Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)

FulFILLed slut

This post covers the 3 days that Master stayed with me in my home. What does this mean to you, my dear readers? It means that my thoughts are garbled (along with my pink bits) and that I might forget some details. Give a slut a break, okay? I've been used hard for 3 days...thank… Continue reading FulFILLed slut

Goin’ ho-in’!

That's right, kids! Honeytoes went a ho-in' tonight - September 11th. It was rather unexpected and I find that the best sex is the unexpected kind. I haven't had sex since Man Bun on August 25th. Ugh. I swear that I have no idea how I lasted without sex for 7 years before meeting PG,… Continue reading Goin’ ho-in’!

Captivity: Day 2 – Face down, ass up

Come on, y’all. I’m joking. I was not being held captive, as one of my friends joked in her slightly panicked texts to me. Sheesh. I was not joking about the "face down, ass up" bit, though. I started this post on my flight home (the LAS-ORD leg) and I am happy to report that… Continue reading Captivity: Day 2 – Face down, ass up

I need you.

I'm pretty sure that this post will make many (all?) of you uncomfortable and that you might never talk to me or read my blog ever again. If so, that's a shame, but I'm already over it. If not, then let me know...we should totes hang out in real life!! You must be as sick… Continue reading I need you.

Fkafmivorjffaevmvariargrui. Fo’ reals.

Yes, that's why my brain is like: complete gibberish up in here, up in here. I'm in a post-coital haze. What do I look like right now? Well, the lower half of my makeup is now on Plane Guy's ass and my hair appears to be the home of a family of rats. I wonder… Continue reading Fkafmivorjffaevmvariargrui. Fo’ reals.

It’s all fun and games till someone rips a clit.

Truer words have never been written. Well, maybe they have been, but whatever. I'm not feeling particularly inspired right now. Let me tell you about my evening with the Fetus. It wasn't really an entire evening. It was just about 2 hours. That was quite enough. I had to meet him at a restaurant instead… Continue reading It’s all fun and games till someone rips a clit.