Can't a ho get a break? First of all, I hereby officially and forever and ever retract CP's nickname of Seabiscuit for the Tinder date I had today. His name will now be Meh. EABOD, CP! In fact, I may revoke CP's naming privileges forever. #godfuckingdammit Secondly, a restructuring of my peen screening criteria must… Continue reading God. Fucking. Dammit.
(For gaobest, wherever he is...) Oh, but she did. Yes, I went there. Wait, though...In case you are a reader who is unaware of this particular gentleman's likes, let me ask you to read the previous post to orient yourself. You good now? Super...let's move along. My Saturday evening date was the Tinder guy who… Continue reading Oh no she didn’t.
Here I go again...venturing into online "dating" once again. I finally joined Tinder yesterday after someone pointed out that a Facebook profile is not needed to join. I do not have a legit Facebook account (never have), though I do have a fake one to make sure I don't lose my Candy Crush levels. #dontjudgeme… Continue reading My adventures in Tinder
Yes, I said 1988. And what of it? I'm old. We cougars are old - and that is part of our charm. Well, that and our sex drives. Since this #cougar #ho is not getting any #peen for the foreseeable future (God. Dammit. To. Hell. Where you at, PG?!), this flashback is going to have… Continue reading Flashback – 28-May-1988 – Virginity lost and a slut awakened
First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane… Continue reading Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)
It pains your slut Honeytoes that yet another Flashback is being posted here. Trust me: I'd rather have a new slutty adventure for y'all, but I'm in a dry spell. My two favorite cocks are practically impossible to obtain...One has a gf and a crazy work schedule and the other is on the other side… Continue reading Flashback: 20-Apr-2017 – Tossed salad for two