There’s been an incident.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in 'Murica and your favorite slut was proper stuffed. (That's how they say it, innit, Nicola? Pissflaps forever!!! Miss you!! Quality.) Oh, how very cliché I am. Yes, I am thankful for peen...only the good peen, though, duh. You know that I search far and wide to find only the best… Continue reading There’s been an incident.

God. Fucking. Dammit.

Can't a ho get a break? First of all, I hereby officially and forever and ever retract CP's nickname of Seabiscuit for the Tinder date I had today. His name will now be Meh. EABOD, CP! In fact, I may revoke CP's naming privileges forever. #godfuckingdammit Secondly, a restructuring of my peen screening criteria must… Continue reading God. Fucking. Dammit.

Oh no she didn’t.

(For gaobest, wherever he is...) Oh, but she did. Yes, I went there. Wait, though...In case you are a reader who is unaware of this particular gentleman's likes, let me ask you to read the previous post to orient yourself. You good now? Super...let's move along. My Saturday evening date was the Tinder guy who… Continue reading Oh no she didn’t.

The AFF Fuckwit Parade – I. Just. Cannot. Even.

I still have my profile on AFF. Maybe I'm actually a #masochist, not a #sadist. I was given a free upgrade to the gold level, so I can now see peoples' profiles. It is fascinating and horrifying at the same time. Y'all, I'm seeing more cocks that Frank Perdue. It's like seeing a bad accident...you… Continue reading The AFF Fuckwit Parade – I. Just. Cannot. Even.

It’s all fun and games till someone rips a clit.

Truer words have never been written. Well, maybe they have been, but whatever. I'm not feeling particularly inspired right now. Let me tell you about my evening with the Fetus. It wasn't really an entire evening. It was just about 2 hours. That was quite enough. I had to meet him at a restaurant instead… Continue reading It’s all fun and games till someone rips a clit.

Online cesspool of dating and hook-up sites

Online dating is not really my thing. I don't want to date anyone. I'm not a relationship girl...never have been, frankly. My goal is to find a hot guy to fuck. Preferably, the guy is hung. That's all I want. I tried match.com last year (following my sexual re-awakening courtesy of Plane Guy) and it… Continue reading Online cesspool of dating and hook-up sites