Hoku? Yeah, hoku. Get it? I just made it up, guys. It is like haiku, but it is about my #holife. Hoku. You heard it here first. Understand that I am not a poet, but since I'm getting no #peen right now, this is all I have. #FML Someone, please send me some D. I'm… Continue reading Hoku
Yes, this is another oldie previously posted on the other site. Since I haven't see PG in a hot minute (Booooo! You whore!), this is all I have to work with, y'all. Jesus, I need some #peen. Oh, wait...I'll be getting that this weekend...Here's the old post from my 22Jan17 visit - the last one… Continue reading Flashback: 22-Jan-2017 – In your colander?!
We didn't fuck. His dick went flop. Fucking hell. Raindrop did not live up to the hype of his peen pics. Maybe it was first-time jitters. Maybe it was that he's a functional drunk (his words). Your Honeytoes tried every trick in her dick sucking book, but only a partial chub happened. He did eventually… Continue reading Raindrop. Drop top.
I mean. Y'all. I - I - I - I mean...Holy. Flaming. Shit nipples. *sigh* Okay, calm down, Honeytoes. Let's just breathe here. *sigh* Oh. Wait. Before we get into this, let me just give you a little interesting piece of information about today. If you don't already hate PG, this ought to seal the… Continue reading Surprise, surprise, surprise!
Here are some of the reasons why Stretch was blocked from my phone before he even got to his car. Showed up late wearing shorts and sneakers. I'm sorry...did I disturb you in the middle of your #sportsball game? I wore a lovely off-the-shoulder dress (I looked so #fetch - two young girls at the… Continue reading K bye
...well, fuck. I'm not entirely sure WHAT happened. You see, my friends, I was minding my own business, as I am wont to do. I posted a pic on Instagram of my new gym (barf) saying that working out sucks - 'cause it does, especially for fat shits like me. I get relatively few likes… Continue reading What had happened was…
I still have my profile on AFF. Maybe I'm actually a #masochist, not a #sadist. I was given a free upgrade to the gold level, so I can now see peoples' profiles. It is fascinating and horrifying at the same time. Y'all, I'm seeing more cocks that Frank Perdue. It's like seeing a bad accident...you… Continue reading The AFF Fuckwit Parade – I. Just. Cannot. Even.
AdultFriendFinder continues to disgust and confuse me. Men clearly do not read what I am looking for, so I ignore nearly all of the messages I receive. When many message me, their messages are one or two words - or letters. "Hi." "Nice tits." "Fun!" "wyd" Dammit, give me something to work with here, people.… Continue reading What in the actual fuck?