**sigh** Tonight as I soaked in my delightful bubble bath in my luxurious Aria Sky Suite (#fyl #doingitforthegram #assholesandcunts #clams4life), I asked myself: "Self, should you be a rabid, seething cunt about this evening's turn of events or should you rise above?" **sigh** Hmmm...WWMBD? (What would Miranda Bailey do?) Thank you, Dr. Bailey. I choose… Continue reading Disa-peen-ted – I’m rising above.
Can't a ho get a break? First of all, I hereby officially and forever and ever retract CP's nickname of Seabiscuit for the Tinder date I had today. His name will now be Meh. EABOD, CP! In fact, I may revoke CP's naming privileges forever. #godfuckingdammit Secondly, a restructuring of my peen screening criteria must… Continue reading God. Fucking. Dammit.
Son of a dick I swear to god that I am a #fucktard. I'm a big-dick-loving, moron-believing ninny. You heard it here first...that is, of course, unless maybe you've spoken with Plane Guy - 'cause I surely haven't. He's doing me dirty, dear readers, and not the "dirty" that I crave. It has been over… Continue reading A twofer! — Son of a dick / Guess who’s coming to dinner?
We didn't fuck. His dick went flop. Fucking hell. Raindrop did not live up to the hype of his peen pics. Maybe it was first-time jitters. Maybe it was that he's a functional drunk (his words). Your Honeytoes tried every trick in her dick sucking book, but only a partial chub happened. He did eventually… Continue reading Raindrop. Drop top.