**sigh** Tonight as I soaked in my delightful bubble bath in my luxurious Aria Sky Suite (#fyl #doingitforthegram #assholesandcunts #clams4life), I asked myself: "Self, should you be a rabid, seething cunt about this evening's turn of events or should you rise above?" **sigh** Hmmm...WWMBD? (What would Miranda Bailey do?) Thank you, Dr. Bailey. I choose… Continue reading Disa-peen-ted – I’m rising above.
Can't a ho get a break? First of all, I hereby officially and forever and ever retract CP's nickname of Seabiscuit for the Tinder date I had today. His name will now be Meh. EABOD, CP! In fact, I may revoke CP's naming privileges forever. #godfuckingdammit Secondly, a restructuring of my peen screening criteria must… Continue reading God. Fucking. Dammit.
Hoku? Yeah, hoku. Get it? I just made it up, guys. It is like haiku, but it is about my #holife. Hoku. You heard it here first. Understand that I am not a poet, but since I'm getting no #peen right now, this is all I have. #FML Someone, please send me some D. I'm… Continue reading Hoku
Son of a dick I swear to god that I am a #fucktard. I'm a big-dick-loving, moron-believing ninny. You heard it here first...that is, of course, unless maybe you've spoken with Plane Guy - 'cause I surely haven't. He's doing me dirty, dear readers, and not the "dirty" that I crave. It has been over… Continue reading A twofer! — Son of a dick / Guess who’s coming to dinner?
I mean, is he? A wanker, I mean. Is PG just a #wanker offering up more and more perverse fantasies via text as he rubs out a quick one? Am I falling for his #wank bait? I don't know. I mean, I think I know. I think that his texts are the truth. Oy vey.… Continue reading Just a wanker?
We didn't fuck. His dick went flop. Fucking hell. Raindrop did not live up to the hype of his peen pics. Maybe it was first-time jitters. Maybe it was that he's a functional drunk (his words). Your Honeytoes tried every trick in her dick sucking book, but only a partial chub happened. He did eventually… Continue reading Raindrop. Drop top.
Just a note, in case you're interested...I'm not meeting up with PG tonight, so don't bother checking here for a salacious post tomorrow. He never confirmed the time with me, so I'm not going. We always confirm the time to meet on the day of a meeting, but my first-thing-in-the-morning ass pic didn't garner a… Continue reading Nope. Not gonna happen.
O ye gods! My evening with Plane Guy tonight is no more, but I am not surprised. I texted him early today to ask what time I should arrive at his place. "Don't know" was the response. I asked if we were still on and I got a terse, "Let you know." I knew then… Continue reading Frustration!