She’s got something in her throat!

Yes, I certainly did! And let me tell was a long time coming, too! (For those who don't know what the title is referring to, just go to the Google or have a peek at the image below. Maybe that will jolt your memory.) The last time I saw PG was in October of… Continue reading She’s got something in her throat!

Butthole lunch (club) surprise

Oh. Well, I guess it isn't a surprise anymore, is it? It has been way too long since PG serviced my holes, but he finally came today and did just that. He had been texting me for the last few weeks, but he said he'd be able to stop by. I write "stop by" like… Continue reading Butthole lunch (club) surprise

Witch I Love Your…?

This one's for you, Buffy. I think you probably figured that out from the title of this post. Also, pre-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my old friend. Yes, you are - and will always be - 7 months older than me. Did your gifts arrive yet?!?! Next year we'll do our Vegas thing for your birthday - assuming… Continue reading Witch I Love Your…?

And now, for something completely different…

You. All. PG blew my mind today. In recent discussions with my trusted PG whisperer, CP, it was determined that this on-the-stairs fucking situation was apparently boring. While I think CP would likely disagree if she were on the receiving end of the Majestic Peen™ in person, she, herself, was not and she uttered the… Continue reading And now, for something completely different…

Who are you?

Another delivery of masks, gloves, and hella good hand sanitizer (with witch hazel and honey) arrived today, courtesy of PG. He also took time to explain to me how the recipients of these goodies should use them. He was most concerned about my niece, who is working at one of those visiting angels gigs while… Continue reading Who are you?

Peen in the time of…coronavirus?

HAPPY SPRING!! Let's take a little break today from all of the coronavirus insanity, shall we? Sit down. Chill out. Grab a libation or one of your quarantine snacks and relax with my little blog. Many of you are probably locked in with your families and I know you need a break. (I'm looking at… Continue reading Peen in the time of…coronavirus?

Addendum to Guest blog – Double Buffy update

Oh, hey! Okay, we have Buffy back to address some questions about yesterday's guest blog. Happy reading and we hope that this helps. My comments are in pink. —————– I can understand why the readers are confused. First, with Captain Marvel, we got home from the concert at 2am and I had to work the… Continue reading Addendum to Guest blog – Double Buffy update

Guest blog – Double Buffy update

Happy 2020, y'all! PG has been actively texting in the last few weeks. His desperation should repulse me, but I find it empowering. He still claims he'll visit soon, but for now, my holes are empty. Stay tuned. Whatever. In the meantime, we have an update from our Buffy. Enjoy! (My commentary is speckled throughout… Continue reading Guest blog – Double Buffy update

Ἀδρήστεια (Adrestia – she who cannot be escaped)

Maybe some of my dear readers are aware that I am Greek. Yassou, y'all! Well, I'm half Greek, really, but whatevs. (Technically, I'm half Lesbian because my dad was born on Lesbos - a beautiful island.) If you look at the Greek side of my family and the German side, you'll clearly see which side… Continue reading Ἀδρήστεια (Adrestia – she who cannot be escaped)

Afternoon delight

You might recall last week's unexpected textual interaction with PG and his alleged promise that he'd come see me today (at 10:15 am, specifically). I sent a text asking if today was still on. He said he didn't know because "Traffic is fucked today". Ah, least this is a new excuse, right? (What I… Continue reading Afternoon delight

Fuckity, fucking fuckballs

What's good, y'all? I'm back and I have nothing fun to report. I am recovered from my surgery and back from a vacation to Greece. Woo. Ah, but what of PG? Well, I texted the fucking fuckwad today. Can you guess that I have received no satisfaction? Yes, I am bitter, thanks for asking. Pfft.… Continue reading Fuckity, fucking fuckballs