Drive-by dicking

This is going to be short and sweet - just like PG's visit today. I was watching reruns of ER, just hanging with my cats when my phone notified me that there was a PG text. He's been trying to visit the last few weeks, but he canceled on me once or twice...and then I…

Guest blogger! From a man’s POV…

Hi, hello. How are ya? I'm super, thanks for asking...busy working and going to the gym. There's nothing to report on the PG front, so whatever. He's an ass. Anyhoo. What I *do* have, however, is an update from a guest blogger! This individual has been e-mailing me intermittently for a hot minute. Recently, he…

Remembered tidbits

Yesterday I was heavily reamed by PG. During the immediate aftermath, I was unable to write up my adventures like I normally do, so details were missed in yesterday's post. I keep remembering extra bits about our encounter, so I'm putting them here for your edification. Apparently her asshole is brown. (Mine is pink.) He…

Dude, where’s my thong?

Well, 2023 is going out with a bang, y'all! In the last three or so weeks, PG has been checking in with me regularly. There were one or two times he said he'd visit, but then something came up with work. I think you all know his typical excuse for not showing. Today he actually…

Judged.

Well, you guys, PG visited today!! I was not sure that it would happen, but this time, I was nearly the stumbling block. Two of my clients are quite busy right now, but I managed to keep things under control - and PG cooperated with an early morning trip to see me, thanks to a…

Guest blog with Buffy: Ho, Canada!

Y'all! It was a good weekend for peen - at least for Honeytoes and Buffy. Below is a post from Buffy, with her text in bold. My comments will be in regular font inside of parentheses. Enjoy!! Yes, I came up with the title for this blog, eh. Something must really be happening in the…

Here’s jizz in ya eye!

OMG!!! THE OLD PG IS BACK!!!!! Yeet!! Remember last time he was here? There was kissing and "I love you" and shit? Well, it's gone!!! PG circa 2016 is back - with a vengeance. Okay, let's start at the beginning. Oh, but first? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRL **M** FROM LUNCH CLUB!! THIS ONE'S FOR…

Guest blog with Buffy: Cuntinental divide

Peeps! Buffy is back again!! After a long while, an old friend popped in (and out and in and out) recently. Please have a read all about it below. You can tell what text is hers because she uses 2 spaces after each sentence - and because I've made her text bold. Oy, Buffy. We…

Oy. I don’t even know anymore…

Greetings, friends of sluts! Today our old pal PG paid me a visit. Let's chat, shall we? I was in Boston last week for work, so OF COURSE PG was sniffing around just before I flew out of town. I swear that he knows when I won't be available. Recall from my last post that…

Cuntpocalypse now

You. All. Well, then. It finally happened. After 23 months (TWENTY-THREE MONTHS, I SAID) of PG promising to visit and then NOT visiting rather ad nauseam, HE FUCKING SHOWED UP TODAY. No, I am not kidding. Last week, he asked how far I am from a particular town (which he's done over and over again…

This is why we can’t have nice things.

GODDAMMIT. TO. HELL. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. Look, y'all, I tried. I've been trying. Ho'ing ain't easy and I'm halfway thinking of just giving up and closing up shop on my holes. Stupid PG is just a triflin' fuckwit. I thought for the last few months that a previous fuckboy would manifest into something fun, pervy,…

Sexual Outbreak?

So, hi. How are ya? It's been a while, no? There are many reasons for that, but we won't go into all that. It's really not that interesting, frankly. Guess who's back? Yep yep, it's PG! I received a text from him this morning and was confused. Our last text exchange was in September 2021,…

ATM

Oh, happy day! Hello, dear readers! How the hell are ya? I'm super, thank you for asking. Actually, I'm pretty fucking hungry. I tend not to eat before PG visits. Fucking on a full stomach is unpleasant. Now, of course, I am hella hangry. I think I'll go grab a bite and then write this…

She’s got something in her throat!

Yes, I certainly did! And let me tell you...it was a long time coming, too! (For those who don't know what the title is referring to, just go to the Google or have a peek at the image below. Maybe that will jolt your memory.) The last time I saw PG was in October of…

Fuck 2021 so hard

Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. PG is alive, but I don't hear much from him. I haven't seen him since October and I am not happy about that. Can we please go back to 2020? All I have for y'all is this one text. No birthday peen for me, but at least I got a…

You’re my friend…

Today was three weeks since my last PG encounter and after my miserable week of work crisis after work crisis, I was desperately in need of a sound fucking. Oh, for those of you who are counting, today's visit was the 18th of this year so far. It is the highest number of visits in…

Butthole lunch (club) surprise

Oh. Well, I guess it isn't a surprise anymore, is it? It has been way too long since PG serviced my holes, but he finally came today and did just that. He had been texting me for the last few weeks, but he said he'd be able to stop by. I write "stop by" like…

Pee-TSD

First of all, let me wish one of my readers (maybe my number one fan) a happy birthday. Gao? This is for you. I hope that my little blog post and some new and previously unknown-to-me details about PG (!!!!) bring a smile to your face. I...well. I find myself unable to form a coherent…

Doorway quickie

Yes, today was another PG quickie, but it wasn't supposed to be. GAH! PG texted me last Saturday and asked if I wanted cock on Friday. Um. YES. I immediately cleared my morning work calendars to accommodate him. He followed up on Sunday morning: "Deep work". Heh. It still makes me giggle. I sent PG…

I got my ass ate.

Or at least that is what one of my gays (KC from Malaysia) would say. Oh, I miss the days of KC calling me late at night: "OMG! I GOT MY ASS ATE, HONEEEYYYY!!!!" Hilarious. Ass. It's what's for breakfast - at least that is true for PG on this fine July day. Yesterday, PG…

Witch I Love Your…?

This one's for you, Buffy. I think you probably figured that out from the title of this post. Also, pre-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my old friend. Yes, you are - and will always be - 7 months older than me. Did your gifts arrive yet?!?! Next year we'll do our Vegas thing for your birthday - assuming…

Bowled over…or Oh! de toilet

Yes, I know. It is "eau de toilette". Stay with me here. *sigh* "You up?" was the text from PG this morning, right before 6:00 am. Of course I was up, and I figured he was going to cancel. He did not cancel, but he did want to come at 7:00 instead of our previously…

Wait, wut?

After PG's visit last week, I sent him a text to say, in essence, thanks for the romp and you were excellent. He did not reply. Gah! I am supposed to be in Las Vegas right now, but that trip was canceled with all the 'rona madness. In protest, I am still taking my vacation…

And now, for something completely different…

You. All. PG blew my mind today. In recent discussions with my trusted PG whisperer, CP, it was determined that this on-the-stairs fucking situation was apparently boring. While I think CP would likely disagree if she were on the receiving end of the Majestic Peen™ in person, she, herself, was not and she uttered the…

Cherry Wet

On Tuesday, PG and I had the briefest of text exchanges to arrange today's rendezvous. Bam! There it is. I woke up to feed the cats and then went back to bed for an hour. I took a little ride on the E train. Then I showered, shaved my legs, and put on my face.…

Stairway to heaven

You all. This is a record-breaking visit. There has never been a time that I have seen PG three times in less than a week. While I am reeling in the joy of this, I realize that it will come to an end eventually once coronavirus is but a memory. For now, however, I am…

Vagina meeting

OMG! PG just came over for a totally unexpected quickie!! Luckily for me, my vagina's calendar was decidedly open at 12:30. I had already applied some makeup this morning since I had a meeting with my one company with a very touchy-feely atmosphere. They are confused about having to work from home, so they love…

Who are you?

Another delivery of masks, gloves, and hella good hand sanitizer (with witch hazel and honey) arrived today, courtesy of PG. He also took time to explain to me how the recipients of these goodies should use them. He was most concerned about my niece, who is working at one of those visiting angels gigs while…

A quiet place

Happy Monday, y'all!! I think that it is going to be a fine week. Even if that doesn't turn out to be true, at least it started out as a fabulous one. Yesterday PG texted to see if he could come over today. (Um, DUH!) I was surprised that he'd come today, though. You see,…

It does NOT rub the lotion on its skin…

Perhaps you know that my favorite movie is The Silence of the Lambs. Perhaps you did not know that. Well, now you do and that explains the title of this blog a bit. Stick with me. Yesterday, PG "yo"ed me. I have learned that a "yo" nearly always means peen - at least in PG…

Peen in the time of…coronavirus?

HAPPY SPRING!! Let's take a little break today from all of the coronavirus insanity, shall we? Sit down. Chill out. Grab a libation or one of your quarantine snacks and relax with my little blog. Many of you are probably locked in with your families and I know you need a break. (I'm looking at…

Butthole?

Oh, heeeyyyy. I got out of the shower this morning to an anxious PG. Recall that yesterday I told him I'd send some butthole pics this weekend. He did not forget. I sent him two photos that I considered mediocre at best, but he was thrilled. THRILLED. I had no idea just how desperate and…

On lock down

With all the COVID-19 fearmongering happening right now, I thought that y'all could use a distraction; however, I have no sex story to share. PG did text me today, but that's all I have for you. Sorry 'bout that. In my head, PG is at home also on lock down with Orangina, but he's thinking…