This one's for you, Buffy. I think you probably figured that out from the title of this post. Also, pre-HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my old friend. Yes, you are - and will always be - 7 months older than me. Did your gifts arrive yet?!?! Next year we'll do our Vegas thing for your birthday - assuming… Continue reading Witch I Love Your…?
After PG's visit last week, I sent him a text to say, in essence, thanks for the romp and you were excellent. He did not reply. Gah! I am supposed to be in Las Vegas right now, but that trip was canceled with all the 'rona madness. In protest, I am still taking my vacation… Continue reading Wait, wut?
You. All. PG blew my mind today. In recent discussions with my trusted PG whisperer, CP, it was determined that this on-the-stairs fucking situation was apparently boring. While I think CP would likely disagree if she were on the receiving end of the Majestic Peen™ in person, she, herself, was not and she uttered the… Continue reading And now, for something completely different…
On Tuesday, PG and I had the briefest of text exchanges to arrange today's rendezvous. Bam! There it is. I woke up to feed the cats and then went back to bed for an hour. I took a little ride on the E train. Then I showered, shaved my legs, and put on my face.… Continue reading Cherry Wet
Another delivery of masks, gloves, and hella good hand sanitizer (with witch hazel and honey) arrived today, courtesy of PG. He also took time to explain to me how the recipients of these goodies should use them. He was most concerned about my niece, who is working at one of those visiting angels gigs while… Continue reading Who are you?
Happy Monday, y'all!! I think that it is going to be a fine week. Even if that doesn't turn out to be true, at least it started out as a fabulous one. Yesterday PG texted to see if he could come over today. (Um, DUH!) I was surprised that he'd come today, though. You see,… Continue reading A quiet place
Perhaps you know that my favorite movie is The Silence of the Lambs. Perhaps you did not know that. Well, now you do and that explains the title of this blog a bit. Stick with me. Yesterday, PG "yo"ed me. I have learned that a "yo" nearly always means peen - at least in PG… Continue reading It does NOT rub the lotion on its skin…
HAPPY SPRING!! Let's take a little break today from all of the coronavirus insanity, shall we? Sit down. Chill out. Grab a libation or one of your quarantine snacks and relax with my little blog. Many of you are probably locked in with your families and I know you need a break. (I'm looking at… Continue reading Peen in the time of…coronavirus?
Like, hi. Yesterday PG texted to ask if I would be around today. I told him I have some urgent meetings and whatnot, but I'd be free for an hour at 1:00, right before a meeting with my boss. Since I'd be on the phone all morning, there'd be no time for slutting up, but… Continue reading A misunderstanding
Maybe some of my dear readers are aware that I am Greek. Yassou, y'all! Well, I'm half Greek, really, but whatevs. (Technically, I'm half Lesbian because my dad was born on Lesbos - a beautiful island.) If you look at the Greek side of my family and the German side, you'll clearly see which side… Continue reading Ἀδρήστεια (Adrestia – she who cannot be escaped)
You might recall last week's unexpected textual interaction with PG and his alleged promise that he'd come see me today (at 10:15 am, specifically). I sent a text asking if today was still on. He said he didn't know because "Traffic is fucked today". Ah, great...at least this is a new excuse, right? (What I… Continue reading Afternoon delight
Yes, I am still alive. No, I've had no peen. Yes, I am bitter about it. PG and I text now and then, but he's too scared to actually meet up with me. Sorry, PG, but I can't play the text game without benefit of peen. So...yeah...I guess that's that. We had a good run.… Continue reading Guest blog with Buffy
PG was quite interested to hear about last night's fuckery with Man Bun. The texting began early this morning while I was in the spa writing my blog about said escapades. I'm still running on three hours of sleep. Just read the texts and then we'll talk. Obviously, he saw the pics from last night,… Continue reading Here we go again
Yes, yes, it certainly the fuck was. Gather 'round, y'all. For tonight was a fast and furious fuckfest with PG - and GOD DAMN did I need it. I have been antsy since the engagement of PG...figuring that she has moved in and maybe I'd not see him for a long time. At the urging… Continue reading Fast ‘n’ furious
Okay, so I am a drama queen and I might have overreacted when I wrote that I thought that I'd not see PG for quite a long time. Trying to predict his next move is impossible and I can't do it any more. If he wants to see me, I'll leave it to him to… Continue reading Minty fresh!
Well, yeah. I hope that I am wrong, but I guess we'll have to wait and see, eh. (Hi, CP!!!) After not hearing from PG in a hot minute, this morning when I was trying to herd cats in a work meeting, he texted me a "Yo". I was so involved with work that I… Continue reading The end…?
You get it, right? Like a Nor'easter?? Don't you people watch The Weather Channel? Here on the east coast of the US, we have suffered four of those bastard storms in the course of three weeks. Hi. It's SPRING now, you fucking cunt, Mother Nature! Knock it the fuck off and go fuck yourself. What… Continue reading A whore-easter
I have been in mourning for my cat Mimi for the last few weeks. We won't go into it, but it has not been a pleasant two weeks for the Honeytoes household. If you add to that the frustration of not getting laid in a hot minute AND not seeing PG since January 2nd (god… Continue reading Stuffed: A tale of 3 dildos
Like, hi. Indulge me with a few notes here. I am absolutely exhausted. On Saturday night I went to a comedy show and I did not get home and into bed until about 1:30 am on Sunday the 28th. I woke up for my flight on Sunday the 28th at 4:30 am. Three hours of… Continue reading Comfortably numb
Happy fucking New Year 2018, bitches. I am not a New Year's Resolutions kind of a gal, but perhaps I'll look into acquiring more peen this year. Big peen, obvi. At the top of that big peen list is PG, but as you know, he's hot and heavy with his girl and once they start… Continue reading Whore-y New Year!
Ah. Where shall I begin? Okay, the beginning...that makes sense. In my previous post, PG unexpectedly offered me his cock after I sent him a somewhat amusing photo set including a lit birthday candle in my twat. (It was his birthday, after all!) Of course, he asked me over on a Monday night. This particular… Continue reading Daddy’s little cumdumpster
I don't really know how to start this post, so why not use a line from Monty Python's The Holy Grail? There's never a bad time for a Monty Python quote. In fairness, though, I think the oral sex came before the spanking this evening. I am beyond exhausted right now, having been awake for… Continue reading And after the spanking, the oral sex
An apology is in order. I lied to my biggest cheerleader and totes bestie. In truth, she is also PG's biggest cheerleader. CP, I told you I didn't hear from PG after I texted him on Sunday. Mostly I told you this because of his track record of saying we're going to get together and… Continue reading Pre-Vegas fuckery with PG
Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in 'Murica and your favorite slut was proper stuffed. (That's how they say it, innit, Nicola? Pissflaps forever!!! Miss you!! Quality.) Oh, how very cliché I am. Yes, I am thankful for peen...only the good peen, though, duh. You know that I search far and wide to find only the best… Continue reading There’s been an incident.
Horngry? Ya. Horny + hungry (for peen) = a very out-of-sorts Honeytoes (Of course, "out-of-sorts" = bitch on wheels.) Thanks, CP, for finding the graphic whilst my holes were getting pounded...I just zhuzhed it up a bit. After getting back from my business trip and having had a very bizarre set of texts the day… Continue reading I’m not me when I’m horngry.
First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane… Continue reading Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)
That's right, kids! Honeytoes went a ho-in' tonight - September 11th. It was rather unexpected and I find that the best sex is the unexpected kind. I haven't had sex since Man Bun on August 25th. Ugh. I swear that I have no idea how I lasted without sex for 7 years before meeting PG,… Continue reading Goin’ ho-in’!