I'd fuck me so hard. I'm not even putting in a link. If you don't know me well enough to know what that is all about, then how are we even friends? I matched with a guy on Tinder recently. We'll call him Jame (as in Jame Gumb - LEARN ME.). We matched right before… Continue reading I’d fuck me.
Like, hi. Indulge me with a few notes here. I am absolutely exhausted. On Saturday night I went to a comedy show and I did not get home and into bed until about 1:30 am on Sunday the 28th. I woke up for my flight on Sunday the 28th at 4:30 am. Three hours of… Continue reading Comfortably numb
Happy fucking New Year 2018, bitches. I am not a New Year's Resolutions kind of a gal, but perhaps I'll look into acquiring more peen this year. Big peen, obvi. At the top of that big peen list is PG, but as you know, he's hot and heavy with his girl and once they start… Continue reading Whore-y New Year!
Let it be known that PG is the King of all the Cunt Teases. #cunttease His birthday was last week and I sent him a birthday text. <nudes sent> My #holes and I attended meetings all day. (I work from home.) It was unpleasant, but it is how I earn money for my cats, shiny… Continue reading A candle in the wind…er…pussy??
Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in 'Murica and your favorite slut was proper stuffed. (That's how they say it, innit, Nicola? Pissflaps forever!!! Miss you!! Quality.) Oh, how very cliché I am. Yes, I am thankful for peen...only the good peen, though, duh. You know that I search far and wide to find only the best… Continue reading There’s been an incident.
(For gaobest, wherever he is...) Oh, but she did. Yes, I went there. Wait, though...In case you are a reader who is unaware of this particular gentleman's likes, let me ask you to read the previous post to orient yourself. You good now? Super...let's move along. My Saturday evening date was the Tinder guy who… Continue reading Oh no she didn’t.
First of all, THIS IS NOT A FLASHBACK!!!!! Second? Check back in a day or so because it is almost 3:00 a.m. and I am delirious...I might remember some little tidbits and edit this post. edited to add: In case you were wondering, apparently my "asshole smells and tastes perfect" - at least per Plane… Continue reading Another one bites the dust (and your little friend, too!)
It pains your slut Honeytoes that yet another Flashback is being posted here. Trust me: I'd rather have a new slutty adventure for y'all, but I'm in a dry spell. My two favorite cocks are practically impossible to obtain...One has a gf and a crazy work schedule and the other is on the other side… Continue reading Flashback: 20-Apr-2017 – Tossed salad for two
I saw PG tonight. I sent him an ass pic midway through the day, but didn’t hear back from him. He always responds to dirty pics from me. I figured he was busy working and around 3:00, I began my partial prep for tonight. I didn’t put on my makeup or put my hair into… Continue reading Flashback: 16-Mar-2017 – There’s my slut!
This post covers the 3 days that Master stayed with me in my home. What does this mean to you, my dear readers? It means that my thoughts are garbled (along with my pink bits) and that I might forget some details. Give a slut a break, okay? I've been used hard for 3 days...thank… Continue reading FulFILLed slut
That's right, kids! Honeytoes went a ho-in' tonight - September 11th. It was rather unexpected and I find that the best sex is the unexpected kind. I haven't had sex since Man Bun on August 25th. Ugh. I swear that I have no idea how I lasted without sex for 7 years before meeting PG,… Continue reading Goin’ ho-in’!
Ahhhhh, Man Bun. How do I fuck thee? Let me count the ways... As expected, my hair did not cooperate today and my shoes hurt, but in order not to disappoint my readers, your #slut Honeytoes persevered and went through with her date. You're welcome. #toughslut Man Bun showed up one minute late, but as… Continue reading Good vibes – The return of Man Bun
Come on, y’all. I’m joking. I was not being held captive, as one of my friends joked in her slightly panicked texts to me. Sheesh. I was not joking about the "face down, ass up" bit, though. I started this post on my flight home (the LAS-ORD leg) and I am happy to report that… Continue reading Captivity: Day 2 – Face down, ass up
Right. Today is Saturday. I'm still in Vegas with Master and I'm not dead yet, nor have I been made into a skin suit for my tormentor. First let me tell you about my Uber ride to his house yesterday. I never shared an Uber ride before, so I thought since I am already living… Continue reading Knife to meet you…
I mean, is he? A wanker, I mean. Is PG just a #wanker offering up more and more perverse fantasies via text as he rubs out a quick one? Am I falling for his #wank bait? I don't know. I mean, I think I know. I think that his texts are the truth. Oy vey.… Continue reading Just a wanker?
Yes, the title is a reference to Air Supply. Shut up. My Plane Guy was in rare form tonight. Rare. And yes, I said MY Plane Guy. He asked me to show up looking like a total whore, per usual. I obliged by wearing glitter on my eyelids (because a ho loves glitter more than… Continue reading Flashback: 23-May-2017 – Love and other bruises
I believe that I mentioned that this blog would be a combination of my current sexual hijinks and some older stories. (For those of you here from FT, you will see the posts that were on my closed thread, but without asterisks.) Since I can't be sure when my next sexual liaison will be (dammit… Continue reading Flashback: 1-Jun-2017 – #buttstuffthursday
I'm pretty sure that this post will make many (all?) of you uncomfortable and that you might never talk to me or read my blog ever again. If so, that's a shame, but I'm already over it. If not, then let me know...we should totes hang out in real life!! You must be as sick… Continue reading I need you.
I still have my profile on AFF. Maybe I'm actually a #masochist, not a #sadist. I was given a free upgrade to the gold level, so I can now see peoples' profiles. It is fascinating and horrifying at the same time. Y'all, I'm seeing more cocks that Frank Perdue. It's like seeing a bad accident...you… Continue reading The AFF Fuckwit Parade – I. Just. Cannot. Even.
Princess Diana was the people's princess. I am the people's slut. I write about my adventures for you, the people, in the hope that you will be amused. I hope you find my writing at least moderately enjoyable. Even if you don't enjoy it, I don't care. I'll continue writing even if the only one… Continue reading #thepeoplesslut
Yes, that's why my brain is like: complete gibberish up in here, up in here. I'm in a post-coital haze. What do I look like right now? Well, the lower half of my makeup is now on Plane Guy's ass and my hair appears to be the home of a family of rats. I wonder… Continue reading Fkafmivorjffaevmvariargrui. Fo’ reals.
O ye gods! My evening with Plane Guy tonight is no more, but I am not surprised. I texted him early today to ask what time I should arrive at his place. "Don't know" was the response. I asked if we were still on and I got a terse, "Let you know." I knew then… Continue reading Frustration!
...pation! After my July 4th sexual reawakening by Plane Guy (PG), my thoughts were absolutely frantic. The only thing I thought of was him and the next time I might see him. We exchanged a few texts while he was still in Vegas and I was back home trying to work. (I work from home… Continue reading Oh, the sweet, sweet antici…