Yep, I have another update. Of course, it is not about me getting any #peen. That won't happen for at least another month, at best. FUCKITY FUCKING FUCKBALLS! This update is to inform y'all about some of the unanswered questions from our recent guest blogger's post the other day. He's provided some additional information for… Continue reading Addendum to Guest blogger!
Hey, y'all! It's your girl Honeytoes here and no, I have not had any adventures. I am recovering from a little cosmetic surgery and it feels like hell. I am bruised, swollen, sore, and in a rather foul mood because I am horny AF. I'm a little bitter. It sucks and it vexes my spirit,… Continue reading Guest blogger!
Like, hi. Indulge me with a few notes here. I am absolutely exhausted. On Saturday night I went to a comedy show and I did not get home and into bed until about 1:30 am on Sunday the 28th. I woke up for my flight on Sunday the 28th at 4:30 am. Three hours of… Continue reading Comfortably numb
**sigh** Tonight as I soaked in my delightful bubble bath in my luxurious Aria Sky Suite (#fyl #doingitforthegram #assholesandcunts #clams4life), I asked myself: "Self, should you be a rabid, seething cunt about this evening's turn of events or should you rise above?" **sigh** Hmmm...WWMBD? (What would Miranda Bailey do?) Thank you, Dr. Bailey. I choose… Continue reading Disa-peen-ted – I’m rising above.
I don't really know how to start this post, so why not use a line from Monty Python's The Holy Grail? There's never a bad time for a Monty Python quote. In fairness, though, I think the oral sex came before the spanking this evening. I am beyond exhausted right now, having been awake for… Continue reading And after the spanking, the oral sex
Yesterday was Thanksgiving here in 'Murica and your favorite slut was proper stuffed. (That's how they say it, innit, Nicola? Pissflaps forever!!! Miss you!! Quality.) Oh, how very cliché I am. Yes, I am thankful for peen...only the good peen, though, duh. You know that I search far and wide to find only the best… Continue reading There’s been an incident.
Ahhhhh, Man Bun. How do I fuck thee? Let me count the ways... As expected, my hair did not cooperate today and my shoes hurt, but in order not to disappoint my readers, your #slut Honeytoes persevered and went through with her date. You're welcome. #toughslut Man Bun showed up one minute late, but as… Continue reading Good vibes – The return of Man Bun
After the putative January 2017 ghosting episode with PG, I had a big, fat sad. I swore off men and sex forever and ever...and then...? I got a bee in my bonnet and decided that the last guy I fucked would NOT be the nasty Boston guy. Oh, hell, naw!!! I would get a man… Continue reading Flashback: 11 & 12-Feb-2017 – Getting Giggy with it
While sitting at the pool on a fine July 4th morning in the shade of my cabana (and basking in the day-after-you-got-fucked glow), I remembered that Man Bun told me the previous night that he'd be available again if I was interested. Dare I have him again two nights in a row? Yes, I dared.… Continue reading All the better to bite you with, my dear