Hoku? Yeah, hoku. Get it? I just made it up, guys. It is like haiku, but it is about my #holife. Hoku. You heard it here first. Understand that I am not a poet, but since I'm getting no #peen right now, this is all I have. #FML Someone, please send me some D. I'm… Continue reading Hoku
Son of a dick I swear to god that I am a #fucktard. I'm a big-dick-loving, moron-believing ninny. You heard it here first...that is, of course, unless maybe you've spoken with Plane Guy - 'cause I surely haven't. He's doing me dirty, dear readers, and not the "dirty" that I crave. It has been over… Continue reading A twofer! — Son of a dick / Guess who’s coming to dinner?
Ahhhhh, Man Bun. How do I fuck thee? Let me count the ways... As expected, my hair did not cooperate today and my shoes hurt, but in order not to disappoint my readers, your #slut Honeytoes persevered and went through with her date. You're welcome. #toughslut Man Bun showed up one minute late, but as… Continue reading Good vibes – The return of Man Bun
After the putative January 2017 ghosting episode with PG, I had a big, fat sad. I swore off men and sex forever and ever...and then...? I got a bee in my bonnet and decided that the last guy I fucked would NOT be the nasty Boston guy. Oh, hell, naw!!! I would get a man… Continue reading Flashback: 11 & 12-Feb-2017 – Getting Giggy with it
Per a request, here's a little Flashback (with non-flashback bits, too) for your reading pleasure since it seems unlikely that I'll getting any #peen till I see Man Bun next week...Mmmmmmmm...Man Bun peen all up in my warm, wet holes...Onward. Here's a new twist in my Plane Guy story. He texted me this morning saying… Continue reading Flashback: 21-Jan-2017 – Pre-ghosting text fest with PG
Come on, y’all. I’m joking. I was not being held captive, as one of my friends joked in her slightly panicked texts to me. Sheesh. I was not joking about the "face down, ass up" bit, though. I started this post on my flight home (the LAS-ORD leg) and I am happy to report that… Continue reading Captivity: Day 2 – Face down, ass up
Right. Today is Saturday. I'm still in Vegas with Master and I'm not dead yet, nor have I been made into a skin suit for my tormentor. First let me tell you about my Uber ride to his house yesterday. I never shared an Uber ride before, so I thought since I am already living… Continue reading Knife to meet you…
Yes, I am writing this post on my way to Las Vegas to meet a relative stranger. He will use me in any way he sees fit. He will fuck me anytime he wants, wherever he pleases, and in any manner of his choosing. If he wants to slap me or beat me, he will.… Continue reading Oh, it’s happening, sweetheart!
I mean, is he? A wanker, I mean. Is PG just a #wanker offering up more and more perverse fantasies via text as he rubs out a quick one? Am I falling for his #wank bait? I don't know. I mean, I think I know. I think that his texts are the truth. Oy vey.… Continue reading Just a wanker?
Yes, this is another oldie previously posted on the other site. Since I haven't see PG in a hot minute (Booooo! You whore!), this is all I have to work with, y'all. Jesus, I need some #peen. Oh, wait...I'll be getting that this weekend...Here's the old post from my 22Jan17 visit - the last one… Continue reading Flashback: 22-Jan-2017 – In your colander?!
My fabulous Aussie friend texted me this little gem today. She. Gets. Me. So. Hard. Love you, Shazza! Wanna share Plane Guy with me in November? 😉 …and always remember: Ho is life, y’all! Sluttily yours, Honeytoes #notesfromaslut #honeytoes #hoislife
We didn't fuck. His dick went flop. Fucking hell. Raindrop did not live up to the hype of his peen pics. Maybe it was first-time jitters. Maybe it was that he's a functional drunk (his words). Your Honeytoes tried every trick in her dick sucking book, but only a partial chub happened. He did eventually… Continue reading Raindrop. Drop top.
I mean. Y'all. I - I - I - I mean...Holy. Flaming. Shit nipples. *sigh* Okay, calm down, Honeytoes. Let's just breathe here. *sigh* Oh. Wait. Before we get into this, let me just give you a little interesting piece of information about today. If you don't already hate PG, this ought to seal the… Continue reading Surprise, surprise, surprise!
Yes, the title is a reference to Air Supply. Shut up. My Plane Guy was in rare form tonight. Rare. And yes, I said MY Plane Guy. He asked me to show up looking like a total whore, per usual. I obliged by wearing glitter on my eyelids (because a ho loves glitter more than… Continue reading Flashback: 23-May-2017 – Love and other bruises
...to make a ho. It does. One cannot #ho on her own. A ho without dick is not a ho, after all. This ho has been busy recently. Last night I met a guy from #AFF. No, I'm not on AFF any more, but I am still talking to a few guys via #Kik. I… Continue reading It takes a village…
I believe that I mentioned that this blog would be a combination of my current sexual hijinks and some older stories. (For those of you here from FT, you will see the posts that were on my closed thread, but without asterisks.) Since I can't be sure when my next sexual liaison will be (dammit… Continue reading Flashback: 1-Jun-2017 – #buttstuffthursday
Here are some of the reasons why Stretch was blocked from my phone before he even got to his car. Showed up late wearing shorts and sneakers. I'm sorry...did I disturb you in the middle of your #sportsball game? I wore a lovely off-the-shoulder dress (I looked so #fetch - two young girls at the… Continue reading K bye
...well, fuck. I'm not entirely sure WHAT happened. You see, my friends, I was minding my own business, as I am wont to do. I posted a pic on Instagram of my new gym (barf) saying that working out sucks - 'cause it does, especially for fat shits like me. I get relatively few likes… Continue reading What had happened was…
I'm pretty sure that this post will make many (all?) of you uncomfortable and that you might never talk to me or read my blog ever again. If so, that's a shame, but I'm already over it. If not, then let me know...we should totes hang out in real life!! You must be as sick… Continue reading I need you.
Since PG stood me up last week (dammit to hell), I have had to tell myself every single day: DO. NOT. TEXT. HIM. I told myself to wait till he texts me...if he texts me. Be strong. It is a struggle, to be sure. My brain gets stuck on thoughts and it won't let them… Continue reading Prelude to a fuck
I am on AFF not to date, but to find a tolerable guy with a delightfully large penis to fuck me now and then - or maybe just once. A relationship that involves brunch, spending the night, vacationing together, or just generally hanging out while not having sex is not what I seek. That's boyfriend/girlfriend… Continue reading Slow your roll, Stretch.
I still have my profile on AFF. Maybe I'm actually a #masochist, not a #sadist. I was given a free upgrade to the gold level, so I can now see peoples' profiles. It is fascinating and horrifying at the same time. Y'all, I'm seeing more cocks that Frank Perdue. It's like seeing a bad accident...you… Continue reading The AFF Fuckwit Parade – I. Just. Cannot. Even.
Just a note, in case you're interested...I'm not meeting up with PG tonight, so don't bother checking here for a salacious post tomorrow. He never confirmed the time with me, so I'm not going. We always confirm the time to meet on the day of a meeting, but my first-thing-in-the-morning ass pic didn't garner a… Continue reading Nope. Not gonna happen.
AdultFriendFinder continues to disgust and confuse me. Men clearly do not read what I am looking for, so I ignore nearly all of the messages I receive. When many message me, their messages are one or two words - or letters. "Hi." "Nice tits." "Fun!" "wyd" Dammit, give me something to work with here, people.… Continue reading What in the actual fuck?
Today I asked PG when we could meet and he said Thursday (as per usual, not holding my breath because of the many last-minute cancellations) and that "It will be a rape." Listen, I have no issue with role playing or rough sex. I welcome it; however, when it is presented as such, it is… Continue reading I need to abuse you, Princess.
While sitting at the pool on a fine July 4th morning in the shade of my cabana (and basking in the day-after-you-got-fucked glow), I remembered that Man Bun told me the previous night that he'd be available again if I was interested. Dare I have him again two nights in a row? Yes, I dared.… Continue reading All the better to bite you with, my dear
Princess Diana was the people's princess. I am the people's slut. I write about my adventures for you, the people, in the hope that you will be amused. I hope you find my writing at least moderately enjoyable. Even if you don't enjoy it, I don't care. I'll continue writing even if the only one… Continue reading #thepeoplesslut
Yes!! I'll be in Las Vegas in just a few days. I am considering retaining the services of a gigolo - again. It wouldn't be the same gigolo as in my previous adventures. A girl needs some variety, right? I'm a slut with some money to spend on - well...whatever I choose! I suspect, however,… Continue reading Vegas bound!
I woke up today remembering just a few things about my evening with PG. Let me share these tidbits with you. Every time I leave, he always hugs me and tells me to be careful driving home and that I should text him the minute I do get home. Yesterday was no exception. While I… Continue reading Update to my last post
Yes, that's why my brain is like: complete gibberish up in here, up in here. I'm in a post-coital haze. What do I look like right now? Well, the lower half of my makeup is now on Plane Guy's ass and my hair appears to be the home of a family of rats. I wonder… Continue reading Fkafmivorjffaevmvariargrui. Fo’ reals.
I'm allegedly seeing Plane Guy tonight. Given my luck over the last few weeks, however, I'm not holding my breath that I'll actually end up with him tonight. Two weeks, two cancellations. Because of our text exchange today, I'm terrified. I'm not going to post the content of those texts right now (or ever...not sure… Continue reading Potential Plane Guy encounter
Truer words have never been written. Well, maybe they have been, but whatever. I'm not feeling particularly inspired right now. Let me tell you about my evening with the Fetus. It wasn't really an entire evening. It was just about 2 hours. That was quite enough. I had to meet him at a restaurant instead… Continue reading It’s all fun and games till someone rips a clit.
I have been chatting with a few guys on AFF. The Fetus: 20 years old. In college studying accounting. Not sure of his actual name. The Moose: 22 years old. Not sure if he has a job, but his cock is huge. Scary huge. Moose huge. The AFF Hockey Boy (AFFHB): 33 years old. Plays… Continue reading AFF update