Y tho?


Okay. I have now determined that the Universe actually and truly is fucking with me. Suck my dick, Universe. In fact, suck a fart, too. Full on.

I have been in a #peenless funk since my last visit with PG. It seemed clear to me that that could have been our last visit for a long time (forever?), given that he told me his girl was moving into his place “soon”. I (stupidly) sent a few texts to him, including some ass pics and I got not reply. Ass. I got the message and I sent nothing further. #goddammit

In my current peenless funk, I also decided that I do not want to meet up with Man Bun when I go to Vegas at the end of the month. Listen, y’all, I am fun and dirty and pretty neat overall, and I have now become vexed about giving my hard-earned money to gigolos who don’t give a shit about me unless my wallet is open. I am more than the money I have. Let’s be clear about gigolos, though: even when my wallet is open, they still don’t give a fuck about me. I am very well aware of that.

At 1:34 pm today, I mentioned my inevitable future of celibacy (on FT), not having heard from PG in weeks. And then? At 1:59 pm, stupid fuckface PG texts me asking ME where I’VE been. I HAVE BEEN RIGHT THE FUCK HERE LIKE ALWAYS, YOU STUPID DOUCHEBALL OF A NINNY. Are you fucking serious, PG and Universe? Is one of you fuckers on FT actually Plane Guy? Fess up, god dammit.


Let’s analyze the above texts, shall we? First of all, why does he always do the “where you been” texts? If history has shown anything to PG about me, it should be that I am always here, eternally waiting like a pathetic puppy for him to contact me. Moron. Next, he always asks if I have gotten fucked. Almost always the answer is no, followed by a “WTF” from him…followed by me trying to explain that a woman of my looks and age is not exactly what men seek. Then he asks if I want cock. Ummm. Are you fucking serious, PG??

His next move is to tell me what I should look like (a painted whore – duh – but I left out those texts this time) and then he tells me all the extreme things he wants to do to me. I don’t get too worked up over them because all of his grand plans rarely happen. He’s been flirting with piss play for months now and he still has not followed through. Oddly, this time, he mentioned that I should “plan to stay for a little while” because of all the things he wants to do. Sure, PG, okay. He keeps a crazy work schedule and my visits with him are always limited in time because he says that he has to be up super early the next day – or maybe it is because SHE is coming over later. Regardless, I don’t spend a lot of time there. I go in, we do the damn thing, I clean up a bit, and I am on my way home by way of Starbucks. Don’t misunderstand: I’d stay there for **hours** of playtime, but that is not something that I ever expect. He is a busy man with lots of cheating on his girlfriend to accomplish, after all. He needs his sleep.

Then? Yep, you guessed it:


Happily, I had a bunch of pics that I had intended to send him weeks ago before I thought he forgot about me. I sent them and he approved and asked for more. I lied to him and said that I wouldn’t be home till very late, so I couldn’t take more pictures for him. My hair and face are not camera-ready, and I don’t feel like taking pics today.

Oh, and can we please talk about the comment from him saying that I shouldn’t ask questions?! Um. I think my question is reasonable. I mean, I fully expect to die from some kind of sex-related thing or maybe a chocolate overdose, but getting shot in the face by a psycho girlfriend is not really how I want it all to end. He could tell me that she is away somewhere and that it is safe for me to be there. I wonder if she actually did move in. If I go this week, I’ll definitely have to pay close attention to see if all her stuff is there.

I just give up. There is obviously no way that I have any understanding of PG or how his brain works even after nearly two years of hooking up with him. When I think everything is hopeless and done for good, he comes flitting back around like nothing ever happened. Will I actually see PG this week? Who the hell knows? I’m not certain that even he knows if we’ll see one another this week.

Also? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CP!!!! #clams4life #assholesandcunts #puppers4evah #booyouwhore #yourelikereallypretty Remember, Soooooooooossshhhhiiiiiiiii totes hearts you.



…and always remember: Ho is life, y’all!

Sluttily yours,
#notesfromaslut #honeytoes #hoislife

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