I don’t really know how to start this post, so why not use a line from Monty Python’s The Holy Grail? There’s never a bad time for a Monty Python quote. In fairness, though, I think the oral sex came before the spanking this evening.
I am beyond exhausted right now, having been awake for 24 hours straight with no nap. No. Nap. Oh, and did I mention that I may have been responsible for my flight arriving into Las Vegas with not a single bottle of #champagne left for the next flight? #sorrynotsorry The gay, all-male flight attendants kept making me drink #mimosas, no doubt to keep me healthy with delicious vitamin C. I’d later get vitamin C(ock) from another source as well. I’m getting ahead of myself. At some point, the mimosas evolved and one of the gays had added Amaretto. Yums! The FAs and I also all learned that we are all size queens. Oh, and there was a potential PG2 on this flight…super hot hillbilly from Virginia, but I was too toasted to think to hit on him. The flight only had 71 souls on board, including crew, so the coach section was practically empty…an in-air tryst could have definitely been managed. And the FAs? Please…they’d have cleared out a few rows for their new #faghag. Were it not for all that damned champagne clouding my brain, maybe there would have been two blog updates today! Dare to dream, eh?
Part of the reason for this #Vegas trip is that I wanted to meet one of my online friends (Hi, corky!) in person. I did. She’s awesome, even if (or maybe because) she walked on a bride’s train during a photo shoot in the middle of a very public walkway. It was hilarious. The bride gave her the stink eye, but the groom didn’t react. We also ran into one of the Spice Girls on the elevator. She was a bit bitchy when I complimented her jewel-encrusted fingernails (before I realized who she was), so I won’t mention her name. It was scary, though, how rude she was. Right.
I had been advised that Aria Sky Suites were not to be missed, so I took the opportunity to try one out on this trip. It started with my driver holding a sign with my name on it at the bottom of the escalator. He grabbed my bag and we walked to the limo. I don’t really remember much about the ride because I was still inebriated from the steady stream of mimosas previously mentioned. Also, I was Snapchatting my experience for posterity because I was pretty sure the whole thing would be a blur. It was.
I’ll spare you the non-sexual details of my day, but it was spent having lunch and great conversation with my friend. Blah, blah, blah. Let’s get to the reason you’re reading my blog: you wanna hear about me getting things shoved inside of my holes. #slutholes #putitinme
Y’all know that I am keen on Man Bun and that I booked a 4-hour date with him for Wednesday evening. In case I haven’t mentioned it before? He. Fine. He wore the almost-sweater again. Sweet, merciful Christ. He. So. Fucking. Fine. I informed his agent that he should show up at the Sky Suites lobby. I received the text that he had arrived, but I didn’t see him in the lobby. I got up and walked around to find my Man Bun (mine for the next 4 hours, that is) sitting on a bench near the elevators. Actually, he saw me before I saw him. I heard him say, “Hey!” I turned around and was again stunned at his hotness. He gave me a hug and a kiss. I had made dinner reservations for 7:15, but first we walked over to the Sky Suites Lounge for a juice for him and a water for me.
Then we walked over to the restaurant. The food was yummy and the conversation was not strained. You don’t really care about dinner, either, do you? Fuck you. It’s my blog. I had Singapore noodles and he had curry with duck and jasmine rice. We ate and talked and I stared at my hot date like a starving hyena looking at a wounded zebra. I will have you. It was just a light dinner, so as not to interfere with our shenanigans later in the evening. Our food was then wrapped up and we ventured up to the 54th floor to my lovely suite.
What did we find? Housekeeping was doing the second room cleaning of the day and night service. He used the guest powder room, I checked my phone, and the housekeeper, uh, housekept. I told him at dinner about the veritable bonanza of champagne that had been delivered to my room, courtesy of two different concierges. One was a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Brut (yaaassss!) and the larger bottle was Michelle Extra Dry. He popped the cork of the #Veuve and we sat on the couch and had our after-dinner drink as the housekeeper was finishing the room. Yes, y’all, I talked with him again. I happen to like talking to him and we have amusing conversations. Anyhoozles…
The housekeeper finally left and I invited him to have a look at the bedroom and big bathroom. We went back out to the living room and finished the Veuve. As we were chatting, there was a slight pause in conversation and he looked me in the eye and, with a smile, said, “Let’s fuck.” Yes, please! He stood up and took off the almost-sweater. I ran to pee quickly. I happen to have fallen in love with the fancy heated toilet with front and back cleaning options. It is my new BFF – a thing of beauty. By the time I got back out to the living room, he was standing there in his underwear. Christ. His body. #icanteven
I suggested putting on music and we ended up with a reggae mix. He led me into the bedroom and sat on the corner of the bed. Man Bun pulled me close to him and took off my cashmere sweater. Then he grabbed my ass and commented on its firmness. Remember that Man Bun hasn’t seen me since August and that I am now a regular gym-goer. We kissed. It was familiar, but still passionate. He bit my lip. My neck. Having pulled my right tit out of my bra, he kissed it and sucked on my nipple, even biting it. I removed the bra (fucking stupid thing has to come off over my head) and threw it across the room. He tended to my other tit as I rubbed my hands over his back and arms. This man is solid muscle. If he were an animal, he’d be a great white shark…just pure power.
Man Bun stood up and moved me to the side of the bed, pushing me down. He mounted me and kissed me again. He bit my chest like an animal. I knew this was going to be a good night when he stood up and peeled my pants off of me: “Lift up your ass.” Whoosh! They were on the floor somewhere…and so was my black thong. Gone. His underwear had disappeared, too. How the hell did I miss that?? He grabbed my legs and pushed me backwards on the bed and then? The oral sex.
A guy going down on me is not at the top of my list of things that I want to do with a guy because so few have a clue of what to do down there. My genital piercings make this area even more confusing to the average man; however, Man Bun is not the average man. Before his mouth touched me, he slapped my pussy hard a few times (à la PG). I was not expecting that, but I liked it. He then slapped my chest. Hard. Oh, is this how we’re doing things tonight, Man Bun? #ilikeitrough
Frankly, I was surprised that he ate me out because he said he doesn’t usually do that with clients. His talented mouth sampled my pink bits and he delicately worked around my jewelry as I writhed and moaned and said “fuck” a lot. He spit on my clit as he worked me over manually while licking and sucking on my pussy. The man has skills. I arched myself up to be certain his face was properly up in my business. (I later would taste myself on his lips…I smelled myself on his goatee. Fuck, that’s hot.) After a few orgasms, he moved around to position his FAT DICK (I think it grew!) above my face, making me lift my head to take him into my mouth. As I deep throated his girthy cock, he fingered me so skillfully that I squirted. While his dick was in my esophagus, I let my hands move all over his ass, though I didn’t venture to his asshole. One must not do that to a man as a surprise. (Honeytoes’ extra tip: Seriously. Do not do surprise anal play. No one wins. I speak the truth.)
I didn’t want to stop sucking his cock, but he pulled out of my mouth and moved his chiseled body between my legs, hovering above me. Much to my surprise, his naked (and fat…did I say fat??) cock slid into my pussy and I gasped. Fo’ reals, though. I think it got bigger since I last saw him in August. I’m definitely not complaining — about his girth or about the lack of a condom. His hand almost immediately slid up to my throat. Oh. Hell. Yes. #chokeme His strong arm held me down easily and his hand clenched down firmly against my throat as his cock slid into and out of my screamingly wet pussy. His other arm slapped my chest again and then pushed my left leg as far back as it could possibly go. We were grinding into one another (he wasn’t just pumping in and out and in and out like many men seem to do) and he finally removed his hand from my throat. Air!
Then he put his head close to my chest and began to bite me. “I’m okay with bruises,” I whispered. I don’t see any bruises right now, but I’ll let you know if any develop. Man Bun was definitely stepping up the aggression factor this time, but we had discussed that back in August. I told him the sicker the better and that he could go crazy the next time he saw me. He remembered! (Afterward he mentioned that he was going to bring a bag of goodies – rope, toys – with him, but he wasn’t sure if security would search his bag coming into the hotel as a non-guest. Remember, this is Vegas, where that crazy person shot the fuck out of a bunch of people just a few months ago…People are a little antsy about items that a “normal” person would think belong to a serial killer. He said he’d bring some stuff next time and suggested that I bring some toys because he wants to DP me, too!)
Looking up at this beautiful specimen of manhood as he was fucking me, I thought how lucky I am. I know that fucking me is just his job, but for a little while, I suspend reality and tell myself that he is genuinely enjoying himself.
Man Bun expertly flipped me over and gave my bubble butt some sharp slaps. I was surprised that he had it in him…I wonder what other tricks he has yet to reveal. Let me just say that his cock in my ass is not where I thought this night would take us. Thank fucking god that my new BFF, the magic toilet/pink bit cleaner, was utilized earlier. He spit on my asshole and slowly entered me. I’m pretty sure that his peen is the fattest one ever in my ass. Thank goodness PG had primed me on Monday night for this!! It was not easy, but Man Bun slid all the way in and we slowly gyrated into one another. If you have been reading my blog for a bit, you probably can guess what eventually happened. Yep, I came hard from anal. Again. I guess that’s my thing now, eh? Man Bun came on my ass and then promptly dismounted to get a warm towel to clean up your girl Honeytoes. #chivalryisnotdead #cumrag
We looked out the window of the 54th floor and watched the lights as we talked some more about sex and many other things. He kept rubbing his leg against mine. That is when he mentioned the next time we get together and his desire for a DP, as mentioned above. He’s no dummy. He knows that there will be a next time. We all know it. It’ll be around my birthday, so if you want to get me a present, kindly make a donation to the Man Bun Fund, Money for Sluts.
UPDATE! Please click here and read this post for a few details I missed writing the above last night.
…and always remember: Ho is life, y’all!
#notesfromaslut #honeytoes #hoislife