Surprise, surprise, surprise!

I mean. Y’all. I – I – I – I mean…Holy. Flaming. Shit nipples.


Okay, calm down, Honeytoes. Let’s just breathe here.


Oh. Wait. Before we get into this, let me just give you a little interesting piece of information about today. If you don’t already hate PG, this ought to seal the deal. It is his girlfriend’s birthday today, but yet I feel like I’m the one who got a present. He posted his obligatory lovey dovey stuff on Instagram today (and all weekend, actually) with promises of all the fun crap he has planned for them tonight…and he’s texting me with some extreme shit at the same time. Whatevs. Onward.

I mentioned to PG that I might be seeing Raindrop tonight. That got him going, as I knew it would. I might have mentioned before PG’s extreme interest in seeing me get fucked by other men. It has never happened in person (yet), but I have sent him photos of me getting fucked by other men (sweaty Boston guy, Giggy, and Fetus – so far). I told PG that this new guy had a thick cock and PG asked to see a pic of it. Hmmm…okay…? He’d never asked for a dick pic of one of my guys…just pics of said dicks inside of my holes.

I sent the pic. And then…? Shit. Got. Weird. I will post screenshots because words fail me right now – and you’ll see my amazement (turned-on-ness) in my texts. Get ready, y’all.












Why in the name of pixelated fuck is this happening to me? Did I win the sexual lottery??? (Yes.) Could it be good karma? (Probably not.) I’m practically crying tears of joy. Understand that I am all about bi guys, though I am not sure that I really feel comfortable with labeling people like that. Sexuality is fluid – at least in my opinion. I like sex and I’m willing to have it with all comers, as it were. My preference is always a man with a fat dick because I like to be stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey, but I’m always open to new experiences. There’s a super hot #FTM trans guy that I’d probably fuck sideways, but that’s a whole other thing.

My suspicion is that PG would absolutely not self-classify as a bisexual male – and certainly not as a gay male. He’d probably say he’s as straight as an arrow. Again, I’m not entirely certain that those classifications are even relevant. I did, however, note that he answered “Once” after I asked if he sucked a cock before. Frankly, if someone says “once” to a question like that, it is rarely just once. I need to probe (heh) on that if I see PG tomorrow. He actually texted me yesterday because he wants to see me tomorrow. Perhaps I should bring the strap-on.

In any case, PG is quite keen to see and hear all about my sexual liaisons and in no way would I deny him that. In fact, a lot of my motivation to find other men to fuck right now (Man Bun, Master, Raindrop…whoever) is at least partially driven by PG’s needs. We have a symbiotic sexual relationship. I’m his remora; he’s my shark. Or vice versa. Or whatever. My brain is racing right now.

His other request today? He wants to see photos of me preparing for my evening with Raindrop. I replied, “Prepping? Like shaving my legs and putting on makeup?” “Yes, things of that sort” was his response. Er…okay. That seems like an easy, though dull, request to accommodate, should I actually hear from Raindrop.

It seems to me that the closer he gets with Orangina, the more he needs whatever it is that I provide him. He is becoming more comfortable in confiding in me his carnal needs. They were together allllll weekend long and yet he texted me yesterday to ask where I was (since  I hadn’t texted him since our last encounter, 2 weeks ago) and whether I wanted his cock. My working theory is that he is going to wife up Orangina sometime soon because of the pressure to settle down that he is clearly feeling from friends and family – all of whom are married and have kids. It’s the right thing to do, according to many, though I don’t understand it at all. Getting married because society thinks that you should??? WTF?

I can confidently say that he would never consider asking Orangina to do the things he asks of me because she is (in his estimation) good and lovely – wife material. I am all that she is not. I’m his dirty secret, his filthy whore. I’m the one he can confide in when it comes to his darkest, most deviant sexual desires and fantasies. I give him what he needs to be able to be “normal” to everyone else. Orangina should be thanking me. #iamslut #proudslut #assholesandcunts #clams4life

…and always remember: Ho is life, y’all!

Sluttily yours,
#notesfromaslut #honeytoes #hoislife

2 thoughts on “Surprise, surprise, surprise!”

  1. We need emojis on here…I need a jaw dropping one.
    I never knew that was a thing!!
    Do you really think that PG would put his money where his mouth is (lol–so to speak) or do you think he was just doing the dirty talk to turn you on?


  2. He was definitely dirty talking, but I suspect if he, another dude, and I could somehow get into syzygy, it would happen. Logistically, though? No, never gonna happen.


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