AdultFriendFinder continues to disgust and confuse me. Men clearly do not read what I am looking for, so I ignore nearly all of the messages I receive. When many message me, their messages are one or two words – or letters. “Hi.” “Nice tits.” “Fun!” “wyd” Dammit, give me something to work with here, people. Occasionally I receive a sentence or two. Once a week, I get a somewhat thoughtful message, but it always seems to be from a man under 6 feet tall (um…NO!) or from a man who lives hundreds (or more) miles from me.
I have received several messages from one guy, DM, and they are puzzling at best. I thought I’d share them with you for shits and giggles. Note that I did not edit his messages (in blue italics) below in any way or comment on spelling/grammar. My responses are shown below each of his messages.
- This is his first message to me. Um. How do you know I’m beautiful? My only photo on AFF is of my torso. Granted, it is a lovely photo (obvi), but my face is not in it. You’ll fuck me for hours, will you? Riiiiiiight. Most men rarely last more than 20 minutes…foreplay included. Pardon me for not giving your claim any credence.
- Er…you mean, like, living in my basement like in “The Silence of the Lambs”? Granted, it’s a damned fine movie, but I’ll pass on that. Besides, I’m not sure you could handle the kind of punishment that I was known to dole out back in my days a a professional Dominatrix.
- Oh, you’re up to 15 hours now, are you? If you’re trying to entice me, describing your cock as “swollen” is not the word to use. Ew. I cannot even.
- For fuck’s sake, DM. I think you need a hobby. My precious pussy hole will be devoid of your beautiful black cock forever. You’re freaking me out, dude. I’d have blocked you by now, but I can’t figure out how to do it.
Sweet baby Jeebus. I told you guys: being a slut is exhausting! It requires more effort than you might think it would to find a decent guy with the attributes I seek. ATTRIBUTES are required, people. Cripes.
#notesfromaslut #honeytoes #hoislife